What does it mean for me for my body to not be my own?

(I’ll revisit this someday.)


A Thought

Sometimes, what you want to do isn’t what God wants you to do.heart

Sometimes, what you know how to do isn’t what God is going to use you for.

Sometimes, what you love the most, God grows into a love that you can’t contain.


So much change in the past few weeks.

I’ve moved back home and I’m continuing finding a job I like from here.

(Say some prayers I don’t lose my sanity since I’m living with my anti-Catholic mother.)

I got to roadtrip through Texas.

(There’s an area we passed through that’s DRIPPING with German references.)

I’ve made an awesome new friend: an RSM named Sr. Rose.

(Hanging out four times over two and a half weeks. Learned a lot more about the RSMs than I already knew. It’s very compelling stuff.)

That’s just an update on where I am right now. I need someplace to thrive. Hopefully I’ll be finding that soon.


P.S. If you’re looking for another good daily prayer app, the RSM prayer book has it’s own app. Search Mercy Prayerbook. It offers morning and evening prayer, with supplements for various days.


Just an FYI

I think I’ve made this clear, but not sure…

I’ve restarted my discernment. God has made it quite clear recently that I’m not made for secular

Soon, I will start fundraising and such. (Well, after I move.)

I’m looking for ideas on how to do that.

So, here’s the plan for before I enter whichever order, whenever that is:

1. pay off loans

2. walk part of El Camino (with side trip to Rome?)

3. enter


So, people. Fundraising ideas! Let me have them!

Biding time

The paperwork is killing my soul

So too the endless emails

Bearing the bad news instead of proclaiming the good

I’m ready to leave here

Just biding time

A few months left in this sentence

Until I try to move on

Keep moving on

And make it home

Musings on holiness

holiness: the quality or state of being holy

holy: religious and morally good

– Merriam-Webster Dictionary


Jesus call us to do everything in Him. The beatitudes express this perfectly. We should strive to be the least of the least and show our faith through actions in our everyday lives.crucifix

St. Paul tells us we have been called to humility and meekness, to have patience, and be charitable. St. Paul especially uses one body and one spirit to how we should be – listening to God’s call for our lives and listening and helping each other.

Bl. James Alberione and Mother Thecla Merlo really summed this up – God has created wonderful things for us. We just have to follow His call for us because He has given us all we need to do so.


…and I really need to work on my prayer life.

Holding hands and rock bands

I’m about to say something potentially unpopular with my LifeTeen group…

I’m a closet traditionalist.

I’m not an “oh, Latin is the ONLY way to have mass” rad trad, but there’s definitely somethings I prefer.

When I first started attending mass, I was told you don’t hold hands during the Our Father.

We sang the Agnus Dei and Kyrie Elesion and sang the Salve Regina as the after-Communion song.

Most the time it was just an organ playing with a song-leader.

When I moved to Louisiana, I started going to the LifeTeen mass with one of my coworkers.

Hello, drums and keyboards and guitars!

Aloha, upbeat music I associated with my college days of attending a SoBap church.

Adios, Greek and Latin and solemnity.

Some days, I’m not okay with the holding hands and rock bands.

There’s just a different feeling to the mass.

However, imagine my surprise, when I stumbled across an interview NPR did with Jimmy Fallon.

Did you know Jimmy Fallon is Catholic? He also feels much the way I do.

From the interview:

Mr. FALLON: Yeah. And I remember I had a hard time keeping a straight face at church as well.

GROSS: Did you?

Mr. FALLON: Which – yeah…

GROSS: Did you do imitations of the priest?

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. FALLON: Oh, of course. Yeah. I used to do Father McFadden all the time. He’s the fastest talking priest ever. He’s be like…

(Soundbite of mumbling)

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. FALLON: And then you leave and you go, that – what was that?

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. FALLON: That guy’s the best. I mean that was church? Sign me up. I’ll do church I’ll do it 10 times a day if that’s church. He was great.

GROSS: Do you still go to church?

Mr. FALLON: I don’t go to – I tried to go back. When I was out in L.A. and I was like kind of struggling for a bit I went to church for a while, but it’s kind of, it’s gotten gigantic now for me. It’s like too, there’s a band. There’s a band there now and you got to, you have to hold hands with people through the whole mass now, and I don’t like doing that. You know, I mean it used to be the shaking hands piece was the only time you touched each other.


Whoa. There’s some more Catholic-y talk in the interview. You can read the transcript here.